Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Lax

I know. I have been riding this summer vacation thing and not updating. Sowwy!

There has been simultaneously much going on and not much going on, the perfect recipe for lax blogging. I have new recipes, new sewing projects, new pictures, and new news. I have not shared any of it. Sowwy.

Today, in my pre-algebra class, I answered 2 questions right, one of which had about 13,000 numbers in it and was a half-mile long written out on the board. I only exaggerate a liiiittle bit. Anyway, I had to write it on the board in front of everyone, and I got it right with no heckling! This is a big win for me :)

I have been keeping up with my 0-5k training (I think I blogged about that already? Maybe? I am on week 5 of training for a 5k so I can get off my lazy duff before I synthesize into couch material.), and it is really nice. My clothes don't fit, and for someone who never cared about how they look, I am really enjoying it. Not the need to buy new clothes, of course, but the ability to recognize the person in the mirror, that's nice. Let me give you some history.
I was a ballet dancer for about 13 years, pre-professionally.  What that means is I danced multiple hours a day, 5-7 days a week, depending on if there were rehearsals or not, from the age I was two or something. I could have gone on to be a professional ballerina, and was on the right track, but life got very painful, and lacking any plumb line to hold on to, I veered off track very hard. When I was 15 (I think), I pulled a diva act during the second show of a spring performance and walked off stage, and out of ballet for the first time, ever. Although a hobby is not sufficient to ground one's life upon, ballet was the last filament of the very thin thread holding my life together, and when it snapped, I kinda did too. I cast off any remaining restraint and did what I wanted, when I wanted, with whom I wanted, to the very great detriment of my soul and my parents. I did not come to my senses until our Lord Jesus Christ very mercifully brought me to them, and to Him, at the age of 19, by which time an incredible amount of damage had already been done. Life since then has been a beautiful, painful, and joyful trek ever upwards, and on even my worst days I can still ground my hope on the truth that one day I will be with Him in heaven, where everything is redeemed and there are no more tears or heartbreak.
Of the multiple good and bad consequences of my ballet training, one is that even though I am almost 28 with a toddler and very different lifestyle than I had when I was dancing 6 days a week, my internal mirror still thinks, by habit, that I am a size 2, peak-fitness dancer. When this internal scale meets reality through action or a visual check, it is still, even now, an adjustment. When pregnant and recovering from birth, I didn't mind my weight at all. When I started taking ballet classes regularly again last fall, it really bothered me that while in my head I still had the extension necessary to do wide angle arabesques and penches, in reality the physiology of my current physique meant I couldn't lift my leg above 30 or 45 degrees. Maybe this would also bother someone who had never danced in their life, I don't know. I only know that when you spend more than half your life doing something, it doesn't leave very easily, and the muscle memory never really leaves you. The ache I feel in my chest watching the Grand Pas during Sleeping Beauty or The Nutcracker will probably never leave, and I don't think I would want it to.
I should've named this post Serious Sally.
So, all that to say, I haven't been in shape in a really, really long time, about 11 years. It has felt really good to get in shape, not because of the terrible messages media sends to girls about body size (which I think IS terrible and I wish photoshop was banned), not because I'm superficial, because I'm not...but just because I feel like the real me again. You wanted to know all that right? I know. You're welcome.

In semi unrelated news, I haven't been home 2 weekends in a row, and this weekend will make three. Add the Sunday from two weeks ago when I was in children's ministry, and that makes four weeks without being in a church service. I really, really miss church. If there's any part of technology I embrace, (besides all of it hypocritically, because I like to think I'm Amish) it's the fact that I can watch our church's services online when they are recorded. Also, the fact that I can even type that, much less admit it, is a testimony to God's mercies. More on that another day. It will be nice being back next weekend.

In completely unrelated news, my husband introduced me to Star Trek: The Next Generation, and I am irrevocably hooked. Ok, maybe someday I'll grow out of it but honestly, I have the Trek bug as bad as I had it when I first saw Star Trek (2009 movie), and then the Original Series (I went to a convention and practically had to be revived with a defibrillator because I got to side-hug Leonard Nimoy, in the flesh, IN REAL LIFE. I MET AND TOUCHED SPOCK. Even typing that, I get a little tachycardic. I love Star Trek.). I always said I would NEVER watch TNG (the next generation) because it would be like cheating on TOS (the original series). I mean honestly, who could compare to Kirk and Spock?



Picard and Riker, that's who. I am in deep. I love them. I love the whole crew. I don't know if I have enough room in my heart for TNG and TOS. I must find a way to make it so.
Ok enough.

I need to get dinner on the table in 12 minutes, but it takes 35 minutes to make. God bless you, friendly readers.






2 comments:

  1. Oh, I've been waiting for you to blog. I really enjoy your writing voice, Chelsea. And I'll be at the finish line.

    ReplyDelete