Friday, September 7, 2012

Dear Weight Watchers...

Dear Weight Watchers,

Thank you for helping me drop 20 last year. I gained sommmmeeeealot of it back when I stopped counting, and now that I'm trying to stay in my allotted 26 points a day, I just want to let you know - I'm pretty sure my internal organs are breaking themselves down for fuel by this point. I am so very headachey and miserable. It could have more to do with the fact that we've just cut my daily carb allotment from 30,000 grams to something more reasonable. Or cut my daily calories from 2,000+ to 1,200. Or had to cut off my snack-breakfast-snack-snack-lunch-nibble-snack-snack-dinner-dessert-snack habit. Are you sure I can go more than thirteen minutes without refueling? Because my tummy grumbles disagree. And no, I don't want another banana or apple or celery stalk, thank you. No, I don't want a cup of broth. No, I don't want to use spray oil. I want an entire yule log, via IV, prn, STAT. According to my BMI, we have a long, long way to go. Like, 40 pounds to go (literally. not a use of hyperbole there. 40 pounds to even be in the midrange of normal weight for my height. 50 if I want to play it lean. are you freaking kidding me, BMI setters?) To be fair, you do have some of the best recipes around, so, Weight Watchers, thank you again for all your help last year, and I'd appreciate it if you'd keep up the game. Also, I'm hungry.

Love/Hate,
Your 18.99/month fan for life


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