Saturday, March 23, 2013

30 Weeks

Baby Gracie is 30 weeks baked today. I can tell not by the days on the calendar, but by the elbows jutting out of my thorax and the kickies on me' bladder that make me pee in the middle of whatever I'm doing, and the karate chops to the spleen and the big long yawny tumble rolls that turn my belly from round to pentagon-shaped. I think it's fun though :) Except the peeing. Peeing away from a potty is never fun.

While I'm grossing you out, is it REALLY too much to ask to brush one's teeth without throwing up in the sink? Can I tell you how many toothbrushes I've puked on and had to toss in the last two months? Three. Those are the ones I couldn't move out of the way in enough time to dodge the grossness. Do any other pregnant mamas puke when they brush their teeth? You know what, don't answer unless you do, or you'll make me self-conscious. Just kidding. I just told you about my puke's and pee's.

In "my son thinks we're a bit dim in the bulb department" news, our two year old has gotten miiiiighty crafty and creative about delaying his bedtime routine. From "mommy sing you a more song" with specific requests like I'm a live-DJ (Edelweiss and Great is Thy Faithfulness are big hits), to the ever-popular "Need a drink? You're (read: I'm) thirsty!", Korb has finessed himself at least thirty minutes of avoidance each night lately. Last week took the cake though. After his second (really) juicebox in like, 30 minutes, he starts with the dehydration fakeification.

"Want juice? Daddy want get you juice?"
Deej: "You can get it, honey, it's right next to you."
Korban stands, lifts the juice, and exclaims in all sincerity, "It's too heavy!!"
We bust out laughing and he wins for most creative attempt at deception.

Is your inanity quotient filled for the day? If so, I've done my part.

Bless your hearts,
So fresh and so clean-clean.

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