Last night some careless driver (I'm not judging, it's what her ticket says.) plowed into my 2 year old's corner of the car while my hubby was driving home. Miraculously, they're both fine. Korban had a little seatbelt rash, but otherwise was his jovial self. ThankYousomuchLordseriouslyiamsothankful.
After an adventure to the ER, Korb got to bed at the ripe time of 10pm. He woke up before 7, clearly with enough rest for a toddler. Just kidding. He's exhausted. Did I mention he tried to skip his nap yet?
In all his sunshiny exuberance which I truly do adore and appreciate and find adorable(!!!!! Really !!!!!) he managed to wake up Grace this morning, way before she had finished getting her beauty rest. As a consolation prize, he won approximately 57 minutes of screaming from her. Yaaaay.
She managed to drift off to sleep just in time for us to go grocery shopping. Korb woke her up again.
Thinking she'd fall asleep in the car, we filled up her boobie tank, and hauled off to Wegman's (Trader Joe's, why you no stock dill?). Grace cried the whole time. It may have been because when she'd finally drift off to sleep, someone short and sweet would loudly talk about how Grace is sleeping.
I cried in the car.
We turned around en route to Wegman's to go to Shoprite instead because I thought maybe some more drive time would help her sleep. Lulz.
She fell asleep in the parking lot of Shoprite.
We went inside, and she slept until it was time to checkout, when she decided to bless everyone with an especially acoustic rendering of how a two month old's lungs function.
I picked her up to swing her 63lb carseat while pushing Korb in the cart with the other hand. She stopped crying :)
We get to the pharmacy to pick up my meat-hating epi pen (future post pending) and even though I have a coup for $100 off, it still costs me $34.00. My eyes welled up with tears and I cried in the pharmacy line over $34.00.
It's not really the $34. It's the sleeps, I think. And the car. And my husbands paycheck being short 1/5 of our income for the rest of the summer. And the sleep stealing my son does to my daughter. And the attention stealing my daughter does to my son. And the mommy guilt over both of those things I can't control.
We went home. I picked up exhausted Grace, fed my toddler, and put him down to nap. Grace fell asleep on the boob. I put her down to attack LAUNDRY MOUNTAIN. My sweet princess woke up because her bassinet mattress must have been hiding a pea under it. I picked her back up because I truly feel bad for her lack of sleep. She fell asleep on the other boob.
The laundry is sitting wet in the washer, and right now every spore of mildew in the house is making a closed group on Facebook to discuss when to invade the clothes, and how many washes it will take to make them leave.
I have 30 mins till Korb wakes up. My options are:
- Sleep with Grace.
- Put Grace down to switch the laundry, which risks her waking up and taking 30 mins to put down again, just in time for my happy boy to possibly awaken her.
- Put Grace down to prep dinner. See above risks.
- Have 30 mins of Bible time, risking the laundry getting smelly, but ensuring rest for my daughter and I.
- Sleep with Grace.
Basically...am I doing this wrong?
Joking aside, I am thankful for perspective. It's not even a bad day. Wanna know who has bad days sometimes and always manages to keep a great attitude? Canon Andrew White, Vicar Of Baghdad. The man is incredible, and so humble, and so sweet, and like a very tall teddy bear in person. He spoke at our previous church on reconciliation one time and it has never left my heart. Look him up on facebook or the web sometime, then come punch me in the face for whining.
Honestly, I have nothing to complain about and everything to be thankful for. It's just hard sometimes, having a flesh :). I've heard the days are long but the years are short.
We got approved for a house, and thankfully the last three paychecks got seen for our mortgage before this lessened one showed in our bank account. Thank You Lord.
Through a serious of honestly, miraculous events, our lease is being taken over with no gap in renter, so no fee for us breaking contract 8 months early. Thank You Lord.
My husband doesn't have to leave me home for a week with a toddler and 8 week old to work in Boston; I prayed, and God answered, and the work can be completed in Philly. Thanks, God.
My toddler didn't die in a car accident last night, and I wasn't widowed. Thank You, Lord.
I live in a country where my two month old can be immunized against polio, tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis, and rotavirus for very low cost, possibly preventing the unthinkable. Thank You, God.
I have a car so I can drive to the grocery store, and I have money that my able bodied, healthy husband has worked to earn to buy food, and I am of sound mind and health to prepare it and put it on the table. Thank You, Lord.
I have a table, and chairs, and floors covered in toys. I do not live under a tarp. Thank You, God.
No one tried to blow up my condo this morning, and artillery shells don't fill the air. Thank You, Lord.
I get to go to Church on Sunday, and I won't be imprisoned for it and my pastor won't be murdered for preaching the Gospel. I get to openly confess my faith and worship my Savior without fear of repercussion. Thank You God.
I have friends, and family, who love me unconditionally and offer support, because God sets the lonely in families. Thank You, Jesus.
Off to read the Bible now.
"God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land."(Psalms 68:6 NLT)